Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Practice.
I took my derby level one skills test today.
I didn't pass. In fact, I skated just about as poorly as I ever have. But as I warmed up and got past the frustration of not being able to do a proper knee fall...or baseball stop...or anything that I'd had perfect about ten minutes ago, I got to realising something kind of big.
It's all about attitude.
That sounds really stupid. That sounds like something cheezy that you tell young kids who just lost a kickball game. But it really is. It's also about consistency and confidence, but both of these things stem from attitude.
I've been struggling a lot in my playing with consistency. It's really hard to come in pianissimo and in tune on a low Ab 100% of the time. It's hard to do that 80% of the time, much to the chagrin of my orchestra director. Some things are just hard to get every time. But that's what the conductor and the audience expects. I'm learning that really knowing a piece of music means being able to do it under extenuating circumstances. I also played Dvorak 9 mvt. 2 with a cracked reed and played it in tune. If I can do that, I can do basically anything. But it's those situations, the ones you can't plan for, that prepare you the best for performance. Even though I didn't play my best, I feel like I accomplished something.
That was mostly because of the confidence I had in my ability to play the piece. I'm learning that you don't truly know a piece of music until you've spent an entire hour on four measures worth of half notes. It also makes you slightly insane.
But that's nothing new.
I'm finding that confidence on skates is a huge factor in doing basically anything. Every time I feared making a jump or messing up a fall, I messed it up. Every time I felt the pressure of being watched and judged, I messed it up. It's all about knowing you can do something and not taking yourself too seriously if you fail at it. Actually, not taking yourself too seriously and allowing yourself to fail paradoxically allows you to succeed.
Not taking yourself too seriously, along with confidence, makes up your attitude. Though I didn't pass level one testing today, the first things my trainers said to me was that they really admired my attitude and how I took criticism. For me, this goes hand in hand with doing roller derby purely for fun and allowing myself to be bad at roller derby. All of this results in me not taking myself too seriously and just allowing myself to learn.
Wouldn't it be incredible if I could do that in music? Wouldn't it be amazing if everything weren't so tied up in stress and the pressure to perform? Taking away the pressure allows you to become consistent and confident. But both of those aspects are only possible if you have an openness and a good attitude toward what you're trying to accomplish.
Perhaps this is a good way to go into my next lesson, orchestra rehearsal, coaching, whatever. As for derby, most of my problems can be overcome by spending more time on skates. But it's the same in basically every aspect of life...practice, practice, practice.
I didn't pass. In fact, I skated just about as poorly as I ever have. But as I warmed up and got past the frustration of not being able to do a proper knee fall...or baseball stop...or anything that I'd had perfect about ten minutes ago, I got to realising something kind of big.
It's all about attitude.
That sounds really stupid. That sounds like something cheezy that you tell young kids who just lost a kickball game. But it really is. It's also about consistency and confidence, but both of these things stem from attitude.
I've been struggling a lot in my playing with consistency. It's really hard to come in pianissimo and in tune on a low Ab 100% of the time. It's hard to do that 80% of the time, much to the chagrin of my orchestra director. Some things are just hard to get every time. But that's what the conductor and the audience expects. I'm learning that really knowing a piece of music means being able to do it under extenuating circumstances. I also played Dvorak 9 mvt. 2 with a cracked reed and played it in tune. If I can do that, I can do basically anything. But it's those situations, the ones you can't plan for, that prepare you the best for performance. Even though I didn't play my best, I feel like I accomplished something.
That was mostly because of the confidence I had in my ability to play the piece. I'm learning that you don't truly know a piece of music until you've spent an entire hour on four measures worth of half notes. It also makes you slightly insane.
But that's nothing new.
I'm finding that confidence on skates is a huge factor in doing basically anything. Every time I feared making a jump or messing up a fall, I messed it up. Every time I felt the pressure of being watched and judged, I messed it up. It's all about knowing you can do something and not taking yourself too seriously if you fail at it. Actually, not taking yourself too seriously and allowing yourself to fail paradoxically allows you to succeed.
Not taking yourself too seriously, along with confidence, makes up your attitude. Though I didn't pass level one testing today, the first things my trainers said to me was that they really admired my attitude and how I took criticism. For me, this goes hand in hand with doing roller derby purely for fun and allowing myself to be bad at roller derby. All of this results in me not taking myself too seriously and just allowing myself to learn.
Wouldn't it be incredible if I could do that in music? Wouldn't it be amazing if everything weren't so tied up in stress and the pressure to perform? Taking away the pressure allows you to become consistent and confident. But both of those aspects are only possible if you have an openness and a good attitude toward what you're trying to accomplish.
Perhaps this is a good way to go into my next lesson, orchestra rehearsal, coaching, whatever. As for derby, most of my problems can be overcome by spending more time on skates. But it's the same in basically every aspect of life...practice, practice, practice.
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